today we went to winterlude as a family. it’s family day and my mom wanted us to do something together while my brother is back in town. winterlude is one of those winter festivals that makes being outside in the cold feel purposeful, with ice sculptures and hot chocolate and an excuse to enjoy the snow instead of just complaining about it.
i was a little nervous going into the day, not because i didn’t want to spend time with my family, but because i knew it would involve a lot of walking and standing. my body gets sore easily, and i was worried about being in pain or slowing everyone down. for the first little while, though, everything felt fine. i was glad i went.
things changed when my mom and i were waiting in line for hot chocolate. i heard a couple of kids behind us talking and realized they were talking about me. one of them pointed and called me fat, and the other said ew and laughed. they were young, and before i had time to really think, i turned around and told them that what they said wasn’t polite. i went back to my mom feeling shaky and told her what had happened. she checked in with me right away, and i brushed it off at first, even though it clearly affected me.
as we moved forward in line, i noticed two women behind us who had overheard everything. they gave me empathetic looks, and one of them gently rubbed my arm. that small moment of understanding meant a lot. even though i tried to tell myself it didn’t matter, it stuck with me for a while. what upset me most was that the kids’ parents were right there and didn’t say anything. it made me think about how normalized it is to make comments about fat bodies, even in public, and how hurtful that can be no matter who it comes from.
later in the outing, i saw an ice sculpture framed with the words “you are the art.” i asked my mom to take a picture of me standing in it because i needed the reminder.
Leave a comment