the ottawa trans library and feeling fulfilled socially

Originally written on February 24th, 2026.

The Ottawa Trans Library (OTL) is one of only two public and advertising transgender libraries in the entire world, and I happen to live in Ottawa. What a gift that really is, and one I do not take advantage of nearly enough.

Some of my goals this year include trying to read more, getting out to more social events, and making more friends. Tonight I opened myself up to all of those things at once.
The OTL is an amazing community space. They host a multitude of diverse events, and tonight I had the privilege of attending one called Messing Around With DAWs, or Digital Audio Workstations.

I know very little about DAWs or making music on my computer. My only real experience is editing audio for my art and occasionally making a cappella covers or mashups on a mobile app called BandLab.

My friend Arthur invited me to come with him, and I agreed because I love Arthur and because I have been actively pushing myself to say yes to more social events.
I had quite a busy day and was worried I would be too drained by the time the meetup rolled around. As the evening got closer, I almost forgot it was happening altogether. Thankfully, a reminder text from Arthur gave me the motivation I needed. I did not have time to request joining virtually, so I pushed myself to call my ride and go in person. I am really glad I did.

I arrived about thirty minutes early and found the door still locked. Joan, the OTL volunteer and meetup host, let me in and in a simple act of kindness offered to put on a mask when they noticed I was wearing one. As more participants arrived, masks were put on voluntarily. These small and compassionate gestures are what make spaces like the OTL feel genuinely welcoming for disabled and immunocompromised people like myself.

Although it was technically a workshop, the event was much more social and peer led than a traditional class. I got to experiment with Joan’s MIDI keyboard, and my friend Donnie had a wonderful time playing with Joan’s MIDI theremin. Theremins are fascinating instruments, and it was really special to see one up close and hear the range of sounds it can produce when used as a MIDI instrument.

Even though I was probably not focus brained enough to truly learn or grasp much DAW related information, the evening was still deeply fulfilling. I met new people, saw old friends, and talked everyone’s ears off.

Lately I have been noticing that I am much more extroverted in social spaces than I used to be. I love asking questions, sharing about myself, learning about others’ work, hobbies, education, and interests, and honestly just yapping. I have also noticed that I often leave events feeling tired, but the exhaustion feels satisfying when I let myself be as social as I want to be. So I do it. I show up. I talk. I gain so much from it.

I think I have always been an extrovert, if you go by the definition of someone who gains energy from being around others. That does not necessarily mean being loud or constantly social. It simply means that connection fuels me more than solitude does.

Of course I love my alone time and I rest and recharge that way, but I know that my deepest and most reliable source of energy comes from being surrounded by friends. So why not learn and talk while gaining that energy.

Tonight I feel really blessed. I want to make an active effort to attend more OTL events, especially ones related to art and crafting. It is a wonderful space. I do not feel intimidated there, and the seating and environment are comfortable and welcoming. I am even thinking about reaching out to the volunteer team to see if I could host a workshop myself.

I have already been planning a digital collage workshop that would be free to access and taught using a free to download mobile editing app called PicsArt. It is one of my favourite art making tools, and I use it to create and edit about ninety percent of my artwork. I am excited to propose this idea to the OTL team, and I also plan to share it with Artengine, an arts and technology organization in our city. It feels like a workshop that could be facilitated multiple times and in many different spaces.

I am feeling genuinely excited about my future plans for art. I have social events to look forward to, exhibitions and vending opportunities in the works, and a group of incredible friends to continue creating with and for. It has been a good day.

I am home now, having just taken my sleeping pill. My eyes are starting to lose focus as I write this. I feel at peace. What a good day.